One of the main ingredients of any successful marriage/relationship is Honesty.
Honesty means being truthful, doing the right thing and not telling lies. Connecting with others in an honest way is vital: this is what builds trust, the key element for making the relationship strong.
However, we must ask ourselves, “What do we mean when we say that we want honesty from another person?” Most people mean that they want someone who “won’t lie to them” or “keep secrets,” but the question of honesty goes beyond lying and secrets.
There is a thing called honest honesty, it is when you are actually open about everything to your partner, Sharing your true feelings is an important aspect of honesty in a relationship and deserves your attention. But some people even though they admit being honest to their partners do not share everything to them. They are afraid of making the other partner feel bad or they just sometimes do not feel comfortable to share it, while others worry about the reaction they will receive. This is when the problems start to bridge up.
Of course, every human being has their own unique perceptions of the world, but by sharing these perceptions with each other, we get to know each other for who we really are. So what can we do to not only be more honest but to promote an atmosphere of honesty around us? How can we generate a steady flow of truth-telling between ourselves and the people we love most? Here are three elements we consider essential to achieve these goals:
Honesty in a relationship goes with trusting each other
If you truly love someone you should want to be open and honest with him these are the essentials of honesty in a relationship. Any meaningful relationship has to be built on trust.
In long term relationships and marriage however the story is quite different. Love and commitment are more binding; the relationship is much more emotional because quite naturally as couples you have over time developed trust and communication.
Make your actions match your words
Things like saying “I love you” or doing things together become a matter of routine instead of lively choices that emerge from how we really feel. We should spend real, quality time with our partner, in which we slow down and make contact. We should show our feelings, not just in words but in our body language. Always try to make your partner feel loved and respected.
Be open to feedback-
The truth is that it takes courage to give honesty to those we love, and it may be even harder to receive that honesty. But growth in a relationship occurs when we are open to providing feedback to our partner and receiving it in return. We should always be willing to listen to our partners and see things from their point of view. It’s important not to be defensive, reactive or punishing for feedback.
Having a partner who feels comfortable to open up to us is the best case scenario for having an honest relationship, in which we can both mature and develop ourselves.
Honesty in relationships makes us feel secure, because we know where we stand. When we are honest with ourselves and our partner, we can experience the joy and excitement of living in a real relationship, where we are being chosen for who we are.