Gamophobia is the fear of commitment, though it can also be the excessive, persistent, uncontrollable and irrational fear of marriage.
Despite radical social upheaval and shifts in values, marriage has survived as an institution till date. The fact that people keep getting married despite so many marriage failure cases coming up lately, is a testament to its value. It is quite okay to fear marriage –after all, it is an important decision that will affect the rest of your life. Thinking through the decision carefully will help you make sure it is the right time to get married.
Fear of marriage is real and if you are not nervous or conscious to the level of fear about getting married then it is abnormal.
Marriage means not just commitment but family, children, relatives, home, expenses, monthly bills.
Rationalizing your prospective marriage will also help you come to terms with it. If you are unable to find the origin of your fear, tactics for overcoming phobias might be helpful.
Consider whether your CHOSEN partner is truly the “ONE.”
Deciding if the person is “right” has much to do with how high of esteem you hold them in.
Think about the history of your relationship with your partner. How has your partner dealt with conflict or other issues thus far? Can your partner’s behaviour give you clues about past, current, and future respect, flexibility, and compromise? You ought to think deeply about his behaviour and how we deal with certain situations and issues.
Think about other fears
This may not be the only fear you have. Thinking and focussing on your other fears and keeping yourself positive may help you cope with your marriage fears.
If you are scared of losing your individuality or changing, remember that the only thing constant is change. Staying unmarried will not solve your problems. Also, it’s not like you lose all agency when you get married.
If you are afraid of getting divorced eventually, think about the stigma attached to divorce. Remember that your future is not dependent on that, and you must remain positive when it comes to thinking about your future. To make your marriage a happy one, it is you and your partner who ought to work.
Increase your commitment level
The fear of marriage comes when you are not fully committed to your partner. Invest in your relationship, give it time and nurture it. Remember that hard times will come but together you can overcome all.
Don’t hold back from your partner because you’re afraid things won’t work out. Trying to protect yourself in this way may hurt your relationship, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Assume that things are going to work out and be open and honest with your partner and work hard to strengthen your relationship.