Every married person nowadays knows to be faithful, stay truthful and be there for his/her partner through good times and bad—they’re in the wedding vows, after all. But most couples would agree that some unspoken rules are essential for getting past rough patches and growing stronger as a couple.
Here, sharing with you 7 Unspoken rules that are equally important and are marriage rules to live by.
Don’t post private thoughts or photos publicly.
In this fast technological world where Social media is a part and parcel of everyone’s life. You need to be careful about what you are posting on these platforms. You may not want to be tagged in a politically charged rant he starts or he may not want you to share photos of the kids. And you each deserve the other person’s respect for those wishes. Discuss the ground rules regarding posting about yourself, as a couple and about the other person, and no matter what, don’t take your grievances with your husband to the masses for support. It is always destructive to air conflicts on Social Media
When your attention is focused elsewhere, your spouse is bound to feel unimportant. So make quality time a top priority and restrict tech gadget use if necessary. Pay attention to the concept of ratio: How much time am I spending doing this compared to how much time I’m spending with my family. Spend a Gadget free time with your partner, it will act as an important diet in your married life.
Avoid using words like Divorce, Separation
Even in the heat of an argument, avoid threatening to pack your bags and leave. Besides the “Separation/Divorce” word being downright hurtful, repeated warnings may result in a spouse calling the other’s bluff. Being angry does not give you a liberty to say just anything. Threatening your partner for a divorce is never useful, and it only makes the probability of separation more likely.
Happy couples have just as much conflict as those who divorce, but they know ways to get through it. A couple has to have a strong boundary around themselves and they can’t allow anybody to get in between. Your partner should be your first priority in everything, everything else is secondary and temporary.
Don’t bring up past arguments.
People repeat ancient disagreements because they haven’t resolved the problem. Letting things fester often causes marriages to break down. It’s important to address issues as they happen and come to some sort of a resolution—agreeing to disagree counts. Leave it there, and respect each other’s opinion. Do not spoil your present because of your past.
Don’t criticize your partner’s parents or friends.
You know how it is—your family can tick you off but no one else had dared speak ill of them. That’s why you should tread carefully with your in-laws and your husband’s dearest friends. Even when he’s venting to you, your contributions can put him on the defensive. When you take position A, you prompt your partner to take position B. Instead put yourself in his position so that you can empathize with him.
Don’t take charge all the time.
Whether you do all the household chores because you don’t like how your husband does it or you manage the finances because you don’t think he’s as careful, you may feel more at ease doing all the work. But stop! The spouse who does the rescuing can become tired of that role—and resentful that everything is on her shoulders, even if she volunteered for that burden. Get in the habit of asking your partner, “What do you think works best here”? These requests will foster the idea that you’re teammates.