All healthy marriages experience change and transition. That’s what keeps them alive and growing. Some of the stages of growth are predictable, others are not.
If you are aware of the predictable stages that love relationships go through, you may be better prepared to evolve yours as time passes. To stay happy, it is important that partners grow together and hopefully become stronger with time. In this blog we are going to share with you the main stages of every married life.
Stage 1- Romance
Everyone starts off in the romance stage, which is said to last anywhere from two months to two years.
Random acts of kindness — and romance — can go a long way to keeping the feelings of this stage alive.
You need to be thoughtful, romantic and do unexpected things, so if he empties the dishwasher and she normally has to do it, that is romantic, because it is thoughtful.
Stage 2- Settling Down
The second stage of marriage takes place as the first comes to an end – sometimes gradually, at other times suddenly, depending on the circumstances affecting the bride, groom and their life together. It’s the realisation stage, during which you learn things you might not have known (or happily ignored) about your spouse’s strengths, weaknesses and personal habits.
Stage 3- Stability
In this stage of marriage, husbands and wives begin to realise they married someone with as many vices as virtues, and each one reverts to re-inventing themselves in new ways. In the best scenario, this stage is about reunion where you are getting to know each other all over again, unpacking old baggage and having fun.
Stage 4- Commitment
The fourth stage is the commitment stage, where you realize that your relationship has shortcomings and that’s normal.
By this stage, you have recognised there is no ideal partner nor ideal relationship. In this stage, you choose to commit to the individual you married. You both have learned how to communicate and continue to do so. You can freely share the good and the bad with each other, trusting your commitment to support you.
It’s common in the commitment stage to realize you love your spouse, but you may not like them at all times. We are all human and not perfect. Love can look beyond imperfection.
Stage 5- Co-creation
There is still a state left?
There is, and it’s where many parents of young children find themselves. The fifth stage is the bliss or co-creation stage. This is where you decide to act as a team in the world. Even here, you may find that you return to the power struggle stage until you learn to accept and appreciate each others’ differences and fight in a manner that deepens your connection and intimacy instead of tearing it away.
Using the strength of your partnership, the two of you create something you value together. Habitat for Humanity is an example of the power of the co-creation stage. In other instances, this is when a couple may decide to have children, which can also complicate navigating an unhappy marriage.
